In my last post, I talk about all these magical things I do to balance and nurture myself. Prayer, yoga, meditation, EFT, tarot cards. It’s all great. Love it. But it’s not the full story.
I just wanted to take a moment to say:
It’s not possible to be in balance all the time.
In fact, I find myself feeling unbalanced about how to feel balanced (figure that one out?!). It’s the part of me that wants to do all the things all the time. It’s the part of me that’s a little indecisive. It’s the part of me that’s expected to tend to other people’s needs.
Most of all, it’s the part of me that requires the most tenderness and care.
Sometimes, I know I need to feel more grounded. But the paradox of choice hits me and I sit there thinking… should I meditate with my tigers eye crystal? What if I write in my journal for 10 minutes? Oh! But I also really wanted to work on that painting and I love when I create so I can get in the flow. But it’s also so nice outside and… maybe I should drive to go for a hike! Nature is nurturing! Ugh, but I really need to rest. Why do I always feel like I have to do something?! Am I trying to fix something that doesn’t need to be fixed?
Hans DeJong in the Mind Silva Method would say: CANCEL CANCEL to the negative thoughts that arise. somewhere in this stream of consciousness, I become aware. I see what’s happening. I want to put myself down for not knowing what I need. I want an answer NOW, rather than sitting with the discomfort of feeling disconnected and simply breathe. This *pause* allows me to reflect and ease into the moment with kindness. I stop telling myself negative things. I stop being so hard on myself.
Behind every body is a mind, heart, and spirit that needs nurturing. We can get it from other people, but not until we give it to ourselves. Not until we fill our own cups.
My cup is full when I do my best to practice self-care. But sometimes I have to sit with it empty. Sometimes I have to give MORE when I don’t have anything to give.
This feeling of suffering is a part of life. If I can sit with this feeling and allow it to pass through me, I can soften and care for myself even when it’s most difficult. Even when I want to tell myself I should/could be doing better. Because, really, I’m just doing the best I can at every moment of every day.
Every day, in every way, I am getting better, better, and better.
Be kind to the part of you that has a hard time with caring for yourself. It’s okay. We’ve all been there.
Sending you love and compassion today and every day.
In what moments do you feel in need of your love and compassion?