Written August 17, 2015
Today, I am incredibly thankful for the journey I have taken to relocate to South Florida and the current season of my life. This gratitude encompasses all the people who have influenced my journey, my past actions and decisions, and all areas of personal growth I have experienced. The day’s emotions and exhaustion have led me to reflect on the steps it took me to be where I am today–sitting on my own couch in my own apartment in the Sunshine State, miles away from my family and friends in my hometown. Loneliness and confusion struck again after being reunited with my family for a few days, locking myself out of my apartment (first time for everything?), and wishing I didn’t have to take a flight every time I wanted to see my people. Somehow, despite these feelings, I am still feeling confident in my journey to the Sunshine State.
There is undeniable beauty in trusting the unknown and believing in a higher power to support your life’s journey. Within my heart, I have had many questions in the first quarter of 2015. I sensed there was something big coming this year and that I would have to trust my intuition. I made a vision board at the beginning of this year, which completely reflects my current life. It’s amazing how the Law of Attraction works it magic, and it seemed to happen quickly for me. However, I don’t feel it was an easy process to transition to a new location in South Florida–nor was it an easy decision to make. It took a while to get to this point, and there have been many emotions along the way, but I have persevered and made it to where I am today. As I mentioned yesterday, FEAR is an awakening emotion. When offered a position at my current job in Florida, I first felt joy and gratitude, then immediate deep-rooted feelings of fear. How could I leave all my family, friends, and roots in New York? Was it enough to think I was pursuing my dream? Yet somehow, I made it to today. I am respecting the process and appreciating the ups and the downs – just embracing it all.
This time last year, my heart was aching for the young patients, sunshine, palm trees, and friends I left in South Florida after my three-month internship. I resumed a comfortable life on Long Island, questioning why I was continuing to live in the same place. How did I end up in one place for so long? It seemed as though I was sacrificing a piece of me by staying; my wanderlust heart. How could I not be exploring the world? Thus, I began opening my heart to new opportunities and possibilities. I spoke to a travel Physical Therapy company, applied for my FL and MA PT licenses, and began dreaming even more about a different life. My entire room became a mirror for the life I wanted: A life worry-free by the sea. All of me was invested in the idea of living in Florida again (beyond my conscious awareness) and resuming a more simple life. I was hungry for something bigger in my life and wished to continue working with children. At the time, I had a fantastic job in NY working in orthopedics with a variety of ages. My coworkers and employers treated me with high regard, and I learned a great deal from them. However, I suddenly was given the option to work at a wonderful hospital in NYC at their pediatric outpatient center and I was proud…but confused. I kept feeling like I was justifying the position. The the money – the prestige! – the lifestyle was all going to be worth it. I was telling myself that I needed to commute 1.5 hours into the city to have my dream career. When close friends questioned why I thought this was the answer and getting me closer to my dream, my heart dropped. I simply knew this was not what I wanted. After an interview, I felt a flood of excitement as I was overjoyed by the questions asked in the interview, which ignited my passion. I compared the facility (in physical appearance, operations, etc.) to where I did my pediatric internship in Florida. It seemed like a great fit, and I can never know what the opportunity could have afforded me. But I kept thinking to myself–If it’s not this, it’s something better. I basically accepted the job, but figured I should still apply to other positions in case something better came along in a different location. Why would I accept a job I already wanted to leave? Why did I feel in my heart that something BETTER would become available?
A few days later, I got a fate phone call from the place I did my internship, offering me a position in South Florida as a Pediatric Physical Therapist. I instantly started crying, doubting the reality of the situation. From that point, I knew my heart wanted to go to Florida, but I needed to make sure it could work from a “logistical” standpoint. The answers took longer than I wanted to become clear, and I struggled in many ways. Resistance from others challenged my strength in this decision and it seemed like the universe was forcing me to ask myself, HOW BAD DO YOU WANT IT, KRISTEN?? I worked through the facts, and continually reassessed my gut and intuition. I kept looking at my vision board, and knew my journey was unfolding as it was meant to.
Everything has been a whirlwind. I’ve lucked out with my apartment, incredible job, indescribable patients/families to work with, coworkers, friends, experiences, and life in general. Some days are certainly harder than others as my heart is missing proximity to those I love. Yet, I feel deeply connected to my loved ones despite our distance because I can feel their support. I’ve become the most self-aware and intuitive I have ever been. Through the love and gratitude I am feeling for my journey, I have attracted like-minded individuals and life-changing experiences. Every day seems like a gift, and I am taking full advantage (with appreciation, of course) of all opportunity coming my way.
Thank YOU for helping me follow my dream and my heart. Thank YOU for believing in me. Thank YOU for your love and support. Thank YOU for helping me grow.
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
What more will come of this journey if so much has already been gained? I can’t wait to find out.