Written March 29, 2021
There was a time in life where I felt entangled and imprisoned by connections. I felt there were people in my life I held onto and I judged myself for this. I had difficulty letting people go because it felt so disrespectful to do so. I didn’t want to forget how I felt in these connections, nor could I deny what they meant to my life and personal growth. Through my travels and adventures, I have been blessed to intersect with people all over the world. These connections have explored many depths of my heart, giving me profound perspective on life and a new way of seeing myself. If the people we meet are mirrors of ourself, what a beautiful way to learn about the self through connections with others!
Over time, I’ve learned that letting go does not mean forgetting. Letting go does not deny the meaning of these connections, nor does it erase all I’ve learned from people across time and space. Through this act of letting go, I have become more free. These people never truly leave me, but instead become a part of me. I integrate these connections into my heart and spirit as a way to grow in love.
The Red String of Fate theory in Japanese culture suggests we are destined to meet people in our life – romantically or not. Once we meet these people, we become connected by a red string. This string may tangle and stretch, but it is never broken. We are forever tied together. Our red thread of connection originates at our heart and flows through the ulnar artery to our pinky finger, then extends beyond our pinky as a red string, ready to entangle with those we are fated to meet. Once our strings intersect, they are forever together.
Fate has brought me boundless connections and there is immense freedom in recognizing the love that connects us all.
Life has a beautiful way of connecting us to people through destiny and fate. Whether you are a believer in soulmates or not, there must have been a time where you’ve thought, “I am meant to be here… to meet this person.” These connections can be fleeting – perhaps just an exchange of eye contact, or they can be eternal – spanning time, space, and distance without ever wavering.
Recognizing the fate in these connections brings us closer to the pulse of the Universe, God, and our interconnectedness. They give us a glimpse of infinity.
When fate brings people together, there is always a time when we must let go. While our fateful connections give us a sense of infinity, our human experience is plagued by impermanence. Everything is temporary and we will all meet death. This can produce fear of loss and abandonment when we become aware of the idea that we will one day lose everything we love. It makes us want to hold on tighter so we don’t lose it, so we don’t have to feel the pain.
Yet, if grief and loss is only a natural part of this process of connection, how can we breathe love into this space filled with fear? I am learning to welcome the grief of dying connections as a symbol of a deeper love. The entanglement of grief and gratitude reminds me that love endures all – even loss. As Vision says in WandaVision, What is grief, if not love persevering? When I accept the pain and grief as a form of gratitude for our brief infinity together, I can find a deeper meaning to grief and loss.
The act of letting go is not always filled with grief and pain through death. For me, letting go creates space to let the person you love be separate from you. To allow space to let them become who they are meant to be. Love asks us to breathe space into our relationships and let go of the need to grasp tightly through fear of loss.
It is entirely freeing to be separate from others, but connected by a common love. In letting go, I become free from expectations to be someone I am not. I choose to welcome these fateful connections into my life as a way to teach me the way of life and love, while also encouraging me to stay true to myself and free in my own spirit.
when i let you go,
i am set free
but you will live
in my memory
until our paths
i’ll be in your heart
and you’ll be in mine.
I got my tattoo as a representation of the freedom that comes from these fateful connections. I am forever grateful for the people I have met along my journey and for the lessons I continue to learn through grief, gratitude, and love.