| December 7, 2018 |
I changed the word on my Instagram bio today from “manifesting” to “building.” Words are important to me, not because of the message they send, but because of the meaning they portray and how they make me feel. So, why the change?
I would say I’m a spiritual person. I believe in the power of the Universe and I set intentions so that the divine powers can support me in achieving them. Yet, sometimes “manifesting” is not enough. I feel a lot of New Age self-help books, lectures, and thoughts can be misinterpreted. I think we can all too easily become passive about our dreams and desires. When get a little lazy with making things happen.
I believe not ONLY in manifesting and visualizing, but also putting in the work and actions to make dreams become a reality. When I think about living a creative and adventurous life, I realize that it takes a lot of decisions and intention to BUILD this life. Sometimes, I slip. I become tired and lazy, or come up with hundreds of other excuses. I have seen my creativity slip away in the midst of emotional turmoil. I saw my self-esteem take a nose-dive, and with that, my ability to express myself was at an all-time low. I could never blame others, because in the end, it’s MY responsibility to take a hold of the challenges in my life and decide what direction I will go as a response. I can see how life makes us question who we truly are. I can see how easy it is to slip up, not only as transitions come and go, but DAILY.
I am CHOOSING to be more expressive (personally and, as a result, on media platforms) as a way to re-build my creative life. I have to make this choice as frequently as I can, even when I don’t feel drawn to expression. I am ACTIVELY seeking creative inspiration from within & without. I am dedicating the TIME to opening my journal at night, dropping a line in my phone when I feel a poem or feeling cascade over me, putting water on paint brushes, playing with fonts, and simply meeting a pen to paper as frequently as I can. I am devoting my heart to authentic expression.
Sometimes, I really feel drawn to sharing my feelings, thoughts, or creations because maybe there are other people out there who feel similarly, are questioning similar complexities, and need to be reminded that we are NEVER alone. Rather than seek validation, I seek inspiration. I seek connection within myself, to feel creative and adventurous by my own authority. I am pulling my heart out, looking at it, studying it, and then putting it into words, colors, and visuals. I am returning to my confident, creative endeavors as a way to be truly ME. I love sharing my creative processes and thoughts because vulnerability requires courage, and practicing courage builds strength.
And so, I will do this. I will not just imagine it, manifest it, or dream it. But I will DO it.
So, am I really manifesting creativity? Or, am I building it?
Build, I must.
Build, I will.