| December 13, 2015 |
As I’ve been exploring the possibilities of brewing relationships, I’ve been pondering about the deeper part of what makes a relationship last. I’ve been in longer-term relationships before, tried “distance,” and have explored many connections. But, what makes something STICK? This is what I think…
1. It doesn’t feel like work.
Yes, relationships take a degree of work and sacrifice from each individual. However, if we’re losing blood, sweat, and tears over someone, the resistance may be a sign it’s not meant to be. In contrast, the sacrifices seem minimal and the work naturally executed (i.e. travel/conversation in long distance relationships, negotiating plans, etc.), the relationship’s ease is a sign of excellent alignment. Especially before a relationship becomes more serious (involving “I do,” children, financial hardships, etc.), it should not feel so tiresome to keep the spark alive. Let it be easy.
2. You inspire each other.
Mentally, physically, emotionally. The other person makes us dream and desire more. Of course, a level of comfort is important. However, complacency and lethargy are signs pointing in the wrong direction. Not that we should feel pressure to better ourselves, but we should naturally want to be better because of the other individual. We want to maintain our health, learn more, see the world, and continue growing synchronously.
“When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.” -Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist
3. They’re the first person you want to call.
The good news, the bad news—you can’t wait to tell them! (And, they can’t wait to listen!)
4. You’re the youest you.
There’s nobody more youer than you. When we can maintain ourselves while devoting our heart to someone else, this is the ultimate form of love. Our self-love is not overshadowed by the love for our partner. We should not lose ourselves in our partnerships. Our hobbies and relationships should remain relatively constant (unless, of course, we are letting go of something harmful and bettering ourselves–see Point #2). We should maintain our true self in conjunction with our loved one.
5. They’re your best friend.
Your relationship is not built on lust and passion. Rather, it’s filled with deep conversation, laughter, and meaningful past times. This form of love is undoubtedly greater than romantic, fantasizing love. This is the kind of love that keeps conversation flowing at 85 years old over a morning cup of coffee. It’s the love that inspires others–the love we truly desire. It touches us deep in our heart and mind, and will persevere for a lifetime.
Love and be loved.