I am connected to my heart and intuition, allowing them to guide me on my life’s journey. I recognize the power of the Law of Attraction and embrace many spiritual practices in my daily life. I believe in the mind-body connection and that we should rule our minds, or our minds will rule us.
| January 28, 2017 |
Sometimes, I don’t like that I write publicly.
Sometimes, I don’t like social media.
It leaves me open to so much judgement, and I feel this vulnerability burning through me sometimes. It makes me feel alone and scared and self-conscious.
I think about how I don’t have enough photos of me doing the things I love because, well, people just won’t “buy it” that I’m into mountaining or SCUBA diving or yoga because I don’t “prove it.” The social media facade is beautiful in its artful expression, yet sometimes damaging to self-esteem and awareness.
I think about how I may be putting myself out there too much, and it may make you feel stand-off-ish. I’m not trying to be better than you. In fact, I’m not really trying at all.
Should I be trying more?
Also, I think you’re pretty awesome. Maybe even more awesome than me. We may like different things, or have different current goals, but that doesn’t make one of us better. Just because I’m attempting to “live my dream” doesn’t mean you can’t be happy in your desk job, married life, or other stage of life you may think is too “ordinary.” That’s not what I’m trying to say here. I’m just trying to connect with you on some level on the things that make us feel alive. I know they’re different, so please don’t judge me for what makes my skin tingle and heart race. Please?
Sometimes, I feel like I’m over-enthusiastic. Too passionate. Filled with too much love. I don’t mean this sarcastically. I mean it seriously. Like, I can’t control my decision-making process because I’m always intrigued by everything. It makes me judge myself. Maybe I jump at the idea of too many opportunities, over-indulge, and over-expose myself. Sometimes, I can’t help myself, and I just bubble over, and let go of all control. And then I feel too exposed, and naked, and a little afraid of what others are thinking when they look at me. Sometimes, I just want to be quiet and observe.
I’m trying to just go with the flow of life, and be open to it all, but trying to explain this in words sometimes makes me feel a wee bit crazy. When people ask me where I’m going to be or where I want to be, I just want to say: I don’t know. But then I feel like a non-committal individual. The thing is, I want to commit. And I am committed: to my heart and what may arise and fall from opportunity. Is this the way of zen? It doesn’t feel very zenful. I’m working on that.
Oh, the beautiful pain of vulnerability.
Namaste, Fellow Dreamers.
| January 25, 2016 |
I’ll admit it. I’ve completely romanticized North Cascades National Park. I’ve proclaimed it, essentially, as my mountain muse.
I can’t help it, though. The first time I bestowed my eyes upon Diablo Lake, I felt something inside me shift. It felt like a dream. I had to shake my head and ask myself: Do colors that blue really exist in natural features? What is Earth, after all? Is Mother Nature really this fruitful?
Yes, Kristen. Yes to all of it.
Here is my photographic homage to Diablo Lake and written romanticization of life…
| January 6, 2017 |
My third day in North Cascades National Park was a solo trip. I planned to venture into the park before weather was supposed to turn over the weekend. My goal? To arrive at the trailhead of Hidden Lake Lookout early enough on a Friday morning in September to claim an overnight spot in the lookout! I packed my overnight goods in my car (with thanks to my friends who loaned me a poop shovel/trowel, bear canister, and Jet Boil), woke up at an ungodly hour, and drove 4 hours to Hidden Lake Lookout trailhead.
This hike was life-changing for nearly unexplainable reasons. In the challenge of reaching the lookout, I felt awe-stricken, confused, frustrated, determined, and awakened. I went through periods of doubt and assurance that I can make it. Certainly, this hike was a lot more challenging than I expected.
The magic of this place will resonate in my heart for quite some time. Read on to discover it with me…
| January 1, 2017 |
Are you with me in the disbelief that 2016 is over? Apparently, we were gifted one second more in 2016, but it still seemed to zoom by. I can’t believe all the transitions I’ve experienced in 2016, which I adapted to nearly effortlessly. From leaving the Sunshine State to embracing mountain culture in The Evergreen State, I feel like I’ve developed a deeper sense of connection with myself than ever before, and therefore continue to strengthen relationships with others.
I’ve briefly touched upon how I used to obsessively over-plan and over-think, but you’ll never know how toxic these thoughts were. I plan to continue exploring my previous thought processes as I expand my intuitive connection with myself. I’ve realized I am being pulled silently in the direction of more freedom, love, and travel than I could have ever imagined. I crave the ‘vagabond’ lifestyle, and certainly feel like a domesticated hippie stuck between the professional world and life of liberation and freedom. Somehow, though, I feel these two worlds will continue to entwine and I will maintain a balance between them in this new year.
I envision a 2017 filled with even more magic than 2016. There’s a lot of unknown ahead, and this excites me. In the beginning of 2016, I connected to my core desired feelings in order to create a backdrop for 2017. I’m doing the same for 2017…
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