I am connected to my heart and intuition, allowing them to guide me on my life’s journey. I recognize the power of the Law of Attraction and embrace many spiritual practices in my daily life. I believe in the mind-body connection and that we should rule our minds, or our minds will rule us.
| April 10, 2017 |
Well, now that things came together, and I’m back in Washington, I’ve started dealing with all these emotions of feeling the need to “catch up.”
Now that I understand I’m meant to be in the mountains, I have all these new dreams surfacing. Dreams of summits and multi-pitch climbs and backcountry ski routes–it’s all out there, waiting for me to explore! But, I feel so under-experienced and far away from some of these dreams. I haven’t adequately been in a rock climbing gym in some time (and there’s not one in Yakima), I’ve never done any lead climbing, I don’t have any technical skills to do mountaineering, and I don’t have skis that allow for skinning and backcountry routes…
I’m just a girl who loves the outdoors, and wants to dive into it in every possible way, and embrace all that I can learn. I can’t help it. I’m overly enthusiastic for everything outside, and overcoming any barriers to get there. I’m sitting right outside my comfort zone most of the time, and that’s where I want to be. In fact, I’ll go as far from my comfort zone as I can, thank you very much.
I have to sit quite often, close my eyes, and visualize myself feeling natural with the things I feel so uncomfortable with. I want to be confident in situations that are unpredictable, and somehow feel the mountain therapy I am pursuing is shifting my view of life and daily frustrations/struggles. I feel that, by venturing into the unknown of Mother Nature and all she encompasses, I am venturing deeper into my soul. By pushing my limits, I am connecting so profoundly with myself and the world around me.
And sometimes, this connection is so damn frustrating. I feel myself shift sometimes, when I see a photo of someone doing an activity I dream to do. I feel my brain putting limitations in my mind, telling myself that I will “never be able to reach that level.”
Bullshit, brain. Don’t feed me these obscene thoughts.
If there’s one thing I learned form Alan Watts, it’s that we are limitless. We are always expanding and growing and proceeding in our natural path.
If my natural path is the mountains, with ski touring, mountaineering, and rock climbing in my future, then I will let it proceed in this way. It will continue to unfold naturally and beautifully, and I will let go of my desires. By thinking about all the things I am NOT doing, I am not grateful for what I have accomplished. I have certainly pushed myself out of my comfort zone a good amount, and am doing so many new things (upcoming reports on snow camping, snowshoeing, and a little preview of backcountry skiing).
I don’t want to put pressure on myself. So many times, I’ve realized that I beat myself up over the little things in life (and they’re all little things). So many times, I overextend myself. I tell myself I need to do MORE MORE MORE. Well, maybe less is more. Maybe what I have right now is enough. I have the support, mountain friends, and access to the places I can play with my dreams. I can (and will) continue to grow and learn, exponentially.
Right now, I just need to be happy where I am. I’m in a place surrounded by natural beauty and mountains with three National Parks, an upcoming volcano season where I can start ski touring, and mountains that need summiting.
I love that I don’t know much about everything I dream of, because I know I can only expand more in the future.
I can’t wait to see where I am in one year. This will be fun.
The mountains are calling…
| April 6, 2017 |
I spent a good chunk of time in January laying in a dark room with ski goggles covered with cardboard on my face, excessive tearing from my eyes, and pondering the complex thoughts expressed by Alan Watts. I listened to almost 15 hours of Alan Watts’ Out of Your Mind while recovering from PRK laser eye surgery and *woah* was it awakening. The lectures were recorded in the late 1960’s in Alan Watt’s home, and the voice of the ‘self-proclaimed spiritual entertainer’ was my sole source of entertainment as I literally sat in darkness for three days straight. After that time, I slowly re-integrated back into the world, without the need to stick contacts into my eyes in the morning, and no more glasses in the evening. FREEDOM!!!!
After my surgery on January 20, I went through one full tissue box in one night as my eyes were uncontrollably tearing. They were literally running down my face, and every time I blinked I felt like there were teeny tiny grains of sandpaper in my eyes. When my eyes were closed, it felt like I had a bandaid over my eyes, yet when I opened them, even the smallest light was like daggers through my pupils. Even the tiny green light on my Mac’s charger was like a laser beam. I could barely stand it.
So what’d I do to stay sane? Get out of my mind with Alan Watts.
| March 22, 2017 |
No, I’m not going to talk about the “Incredible Journey” in the ’93 movie, although that does make me feel warm and fuzzy inside to think about. I’m talking about my homeward bound journey for the holidays this year, and all the other times I’ve needed home. There’s nothing better than reuniting with my loved ones after traveling, allowing for myself to reset with some quality time with family and friends.
Not to boast or anything, but I an entirely convinced I have the best family in all the lands. In 2016, my family supported me through every transition I made. My Mom, Dad, and two brothers were waiting for me with open arms when I decided to move from South Florida to Washington in May, and again in December at the termination of my first travel assignment in Washington State.
I have to admit; I feel I’ve put my family through some emotional turmoil. I was only supposed to be in Washington for three months initially (July-October 2016), but when I realized how satisfied I was, I decided to extend one more month… and then another two on top of that. Essentially, I was in Olympia for six months on the same travel assignment. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with doing this if you have the flexibility and desire. Yet, I couldn’t help but feel guilty for empty promises of my return home that only led to an extended time in Washington. Add that to my decision to visit a friend in Florida in late October, and I really felt like I was failing as a family-devoted individual.
When it was time to drop off my rental Jeep Renengade at Enterprise, hitch a ride to Seattle-Tacoma Airport from a dear friend, and fly across country on Christmas Eve Eve, I was more than ready to be in New York. Turns out, I needed this time more than I thought. I was enthralled by the fact I’d soon be reunited with the four people (+ Nana/Nonno, aunts, uncles, and cousins) who I know I could never live without. There they were, waiting for me to come HOME…
| February 17, 2017 |
It is life, I think, to watch the water.
A man can learn so many things.
– Nicholas Sparks –
The ocean has always been therapeutic for me, and I wasn’t really sure why. I just loosely associated feelings of relaxation with the beach, as my family always vacationed to the Caribbean and my heart always seemed to pull me toward salty breezes. Living near the ocean in South Florida was incredible for many reasons, even though I sometimes felt disconnected from the power of the ocean. It sometimes disappointed me when it became more of a tourist destination. Fort Lauderdale beach flooded with college students on Spring Break, who ignorantly left their red SOLO cups on the sandy shore, unaware of their environmental impact. Yet, many nights, the ocean called me back. I found solace, peace, in the waves.
I will explore these emotions I associate with the ocean, while also sharing images from a day on the Oregon Coast in Seaside and Ecola State Park and times when I needed the ocean’s presence.
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