| February 14, 2019 |
I am blessed. Really and truly.
I have been regarded highly for my optimism and effective communication by those close to me. It’s been reassuring to have these qualities both felt within me and interpreted outwardly. I hold myself responsible for maintaining optimism and effective communication, but also give myself permission to mess up every so often. Mistakes = self-reflection = growth.
What happens when communication breaks down? What happens when people misunderstand? Is it my fault for not speaking my truth clearly? Is it their fault for holding biases and making assumptions?
What happens when my optimism runs dry? Do I allow myself to be fearful and uncertain? Do I stop the tears from coming, heartache from consuming? At times, I believe it is necessary to be void of “good vibes” and optimism. To live in delirious optimism can be unhealthy. It means looking at a negative situation and making it positive, which feels like denial, repression, and avoidance of truth.
If I am to be authentic, there are going to be moments where communication and optimism are not my strongest points. There are going to be moments of misunderstanding and conflict. There are going to be times where I feel lonely, afraid, hurt, angry, lost, vulnerable, wordless, and insecure. But this makes me human. And it makes you human, too.
So, why am I blessed? Because through some of my missteps, I have learned. I have leaned into the discomfort of taking responsibility for my life situations. It’s always easier to blame others, but how can we grow without carrying our own loads? Together, we are responsible to each other for helping carry the burdens of life, but we must carry our own load and “burden of daily toil.” I must deal with my own “feeling, attitudes, and behaviors,”1 and carrying them makes me a stronger climber through this epic mountain of life.
The product is a more colorful life, and one filled with magic I created.
I am deeply, soulfully grateful for 2018. Read on to see the third and final installment of 2018 reflections. We are going to stick to “Cherished Moments” only on this one, because there were too many photos and moments to need adjunct! Suffice it to say, my heart was healing and revitalizing itself in many artful and colorful ways!More